Nostalgia
n. A bittersweet longing for things, persons, or situations of the past.
Nostalgia makes me think of the 50s for some reason. As if the use of the word in modern terms is disrespectful to it’s definition or intent. I spent a few hours with some friends from high school yesterday. The type of friends who I rarely communicate with, but seeing each other is always easy and catching up takes no time at all. The type of friends that when you hang out with them you wish they lived closer, but you’re not 100% sure that if they did you’d spend more time together. Which is more of a comment on me, rather than them.
It was great to see them. We had a few beers, went to a football game and generally just bullshitted. It was just enough to start the memories of high school all over again. All the things you forget intentionally or not. Nothing life changing, nothing that influences anything today, but just those moments of recollection where you miss the past. You wonder if you would of made one or two different choices, would i be where i am now. For some reason I was really stuck on missing my high school sports teams. It wasn’t a matter of trying to relive whatever glory days there were, but really remembering the friendships and competition. The rush of putting on the uniform and playing in front of a crowd. The unity of the team.
I spend a lot of time alone. On airplanes, driving rental cars, in hotel rooms, back at my home exhausted from a trip. I rarely feel lonely though. It comes in spurts and certain things certainly trigger it. But I’ve become more comfortable in my own skin than I ever thought I would. But there is one moment i realized last night that will always make me feel lonely.
The late night drive home from the airport, when there is no one up to talk to.
3 years ago